- I called my newsletter Grandmotherly Wisdom, and it’s still mostly men reading and especially commenting on it - I told my husband the other day. - That’s because you’re still in the tech bro mindset and very intellectual and heady. Have you seen how women actually write? It’s all yoga and hashtag blessed.
Such an interesting perspective in this letter. Resonated with a lot. I too am heady. I too have known myself to have mostly guy friends, and this has only changed a bit in my 30s as I’ve made an intention to balance it out. One of the reasons I took Latin dance classes for years was to get in touch with my (mostly absent) feminine side. I often think about what society has deemed feminine, and what that means to me if I reject a lot of it. What is better for me in the long run: being ok with rejecting norms (and being incongruent with my environment’s image of the feminine), or finding ways to accept norms (seeing the good in those things, aligning myself more with the signals of my environment)? Im shooting for balance at this stage, because I feel I’m missing something. Is my idea of missing something my own, or something that someone subliminally planted in me? I’m fortunate in that I’ve lived in both Europe and North America, so I know how one’s environment can affect self-image. It is relentless here, even in Canada which isn’t as bad as the US. In Norway there are checks and balances in respect to impressionability of both of young and old, and policies that regulate the types of depictions that are manipulative, subversive and plain unhealthy. Then: because of its strong division between lead/follower roles, is traditional Latin dance unhealthy? I don’t know, I can say that dancing it feels good tho. What I do know is that some types of differentiation is needed and healthy, because making everything gender neutral ignores the fact that we are not the same. Our bodies are really not the same. How much of my identity do I want tied to my body? Still figuring that out...
Haha, what you wrote at the top about men vs women and writing made me feel some type of way! I can't even put my finger as to what type of way it is...some thoughts/questions:
- wait am I not being intellectual by being a woman?? I do tend to downplay my neuroscientist background to seem more approachable, but is this (secretly) a fawning response or something?
- oh gosh am I techbro-adjacent? I suppose TPOT is... but wait, is that a bad thing?
- not that I am producing #blessed type of content, but what is inherently bad about #blessed content if it resonates with its audience? I am saying this not to levy judgement but to point out that I also have a knee jerk reaction to #blessed content that might be unwarranted...
I suppose this might be the issue with any forms of binary division (men vs women, techbro vs yoga etc, intellectual vs #blessed, etc.) They can reveal stereotypes within ourselves of either camps.
Such an interesting perspective in this letter. Resonated with a lot. I too am heady. I too have known myself to have mostly guy friends, and this has only changed a bit in my 30s as I’ve made an intention to balance it out. One of the reasons I took Latin dance classes for years was to get in touch with my (mostly absent) feminine side. I often think about what society has deemed feminine, and what that means to me if I reject a lot of it. What is better for me in the long run: being ok with rejecting norms (and being incongruent with my environment’s image of the feminine), or finding ways to accept norms (seeing the good in those things, aligning myself more with the signals of my environment)? Im shooting for balance at this stage, because I feel I’m missing something. Is my idea of missing something my own, or something that someone subliminally planted in me? I’m fortunate in that I’ve lived in both Europe and North America, so I know how one’s environment can affect self-image. It is relentless here, even in Canada which isn’t as bad as the US. In Norway there are checks and balances in respect to impressionability of both of young and old, and policies that regulate the types of depictions that are manipulative, subversive and plain unhealthy. Then: because of its strong division between lead/follower roles, is traditional Latin dance unhealthy? I don’t know, I can say that dancing it feels good tho. What I do know is that some types of differentiation is needed and healthy, because making everything gender neutral ignores the fact that we are not the same. Our bodies are really not the same. How much of my identity do I want tied to my body? Still figuring that out...
Haha, what you wrote at the top about men vs women and writing made me feel some type of way! I can't even put my finger as to what type of way it is...some thoughts/questions:
- wait am I not being intellectual by being a woman?? I do tend to downplay my neuroscientist background to seem more approachable, but is this (secretly) a fawning response or something?
- oh gosh am I techbro-adjacent? I suppose TPOT is... but wait, is that a bad thing?
- not that I am producing #blessed type of content, but what is inherently bad about #blessed content if it resonates with its audience? I am saying this not to levy judgement but to point out that I also have a knee jerk reaction to #blessed content that might be unwarranted...
I suppose this might be the issue with any forms of binary division (men vs women, techbro vs yoga etc, intellectual vs #blessed, etc.) They can reveal stereotypes within ourselves of either camps.