7 Comments

Aww…I love this essay to the moon and back!

Kids are so wise and brave and full of love ❤️

Like you, I too had thought that being a mother would bring me this huge responsibility of teaching and guiding a tiny human. But I’ve learned more from my son than I could ever teach him.

I’d associated teaching with preaching and doing. But being around my little one made me realise that it’s about being.

Kids teach us their priceless lessons by being their amazing little selves. It’s a pure, undiluted wisdom ✨

Expand full comment

I used to take my youngest daughter to the mall on rainy days, so she could climb in the play structure and I'd get my daily walk in. Jamie was 4, and living in the Pacific Northwest meant that we were at the mall almost daily. We would get there early, before the stores opened.

There were others that were there, that morning. Moms like me with small kids in strollers or older people sitting on benches. There were always the eager shoppers, too, waiting for their favorite stores to open.

On that particular day, we entered at the South Entrance and heard Christmas music as the door closed behind us..As we started our stroll to the play structure on the north end of the mall, we chatted about the Christmas window displays. Jamie's excitement was infectious!

As we walked towards the center of the mall, the music shifted from traditional Christmas music to a top ten Pop hit. The clerks in one of the trendy clothing stores were putting sales items on tables, putting up the signs and getting the store ready. A group of shoppers hung around loosely, waiting for the door grate to slide up and let them in..

Right in front of everybody waiting, Jamie started twirling.. "Dance with me, Mama!"

I looked around at the crowd, embarrassed. "That's okay, honey. You go ahead..."

Jamie shimmied and twirled and shouted, "C'mon! It's fun!" It looked like fun, but having a reserved personality, I was still too embarrassed to join her with a crowd that was all just standing there, watching. I could feel eyes watching me!

Jamie stopped dancing, tilted her little head and looked up at me, then grabbed my hand and said the most amazing thing. Later, looking back and remembering this, I cried. Her words changed my life! She said, softly:

Sometimes, ya just GOTTA dance, Mom!

She twirled away, knowing I'd follow! Suddenly the crowd got smaller. There were just as many people, but in my mind, they shrunk and became insignificant.

I twirled and shimmied and felt Jamie's joy in those moments. We giggled and laughed and didn't even stop dancing in between songs. It was so Joyous and Free! It was something I had never felt before! I looked up and caught the eye of an elderly gentleman leaning on a cane.. He had the most gorgeous smile, and he winked at me as we twirled past him... I realized other kids and moms had joined in our impromptu dance, and even three young teens!

The music faded and a store employee opened the grate and welcomed people inside to shop. Jamie face was glowing and her eyes sparkled as she skipped over to the clerk to thank her for playing "songs to dance to."

As I waited for her I realized there was a scattering of applause! People said their thanks to me. A mom gave me a hug and told me she wouldn't have been brave enough to be the only adult out there dancing, but when I stepped in to dance, she was pulled in, and danced with her daughter, too!

Less than a year later,, in August, Jamie suddenly passed away one week after a health checkup. She had an undiagnosed fatal heart condition, something that could only be seen on an EKG.

My Sweetness & Light left us in the blink of an eye. She was here one moment and gone the next. My journey through grief was difficult and long. Even in the depths of my grief, I was -- and still am -- grateful that I was chosen to be Jamie's mother.

There were other things she REMINDED me of, like how much fun playing with snails can be. And some things she taught me, like how some four year olds can actually be responsible and careful with a sharp pocket knife, and get immense pleasure from sitting on the front stoop and "wiggling" (whittling) a bunch of sticks.

But, I am not sure anybody else on this planet could have taught me about simple things in life in such a profound way. I recommend it as a philosophy, that you won't understand until you free yourself and just do it. It is so simple; so profound, and ringing of innocence and truth:

Sometimes, my friends, ya just GOTTA dance!

Expand full comment

"6. Pay attention to the sky" got me emotional somehow...

Expand full comment

I have a two year old girl and my gosh, how incredible it is, that we share such similar experiences. Beautiful! :)

Expand full comment

Beautiful! I've often thought of writing a post about "How to watch a sunset". This reminds me of how I think about the sun setting - how the colors change in the different parts of the sky. How the clouds look at different altitudes and positions. How the stars and satellites come out as the sky goes dark.

Expand full comment

happy birthday Ewa!

Expand full comment