Your Grandma Would Have Used the AI

“So you’re basically saying whatever you want and calling it Grandmotherly Wisdom, aren’t you?” - my husband asked me the other day. Well yeah, I should have probably told you this from the beginning. If you came here for some tried-and-true recipes for life that were honed over centuries, you might leave a little bit surprised. I’m making it all up as I go along.

But so were both of my grandmothers, as far as I can tell. They had to make it all up, and to do it fast. They both grew up in tiny rural homes with no running water or electricity. In their lifetimes, they’ve witnessed the widespread adoption of lightbulbs, plumbing, radio, gas and electric stoves, cars, tractors, freezers and refrigerators, television, washing machines, vacuum cleaners, central heating, telephones, food processors, hair dryers, microwave ovens, dishwashers, imported foods, pre-processed meals, disposable diapers, computers and the internet. Oh, and they also both lived through severe poverty, domestic violence, death of a tiny child, and the most devastating war in human history.

Some people say modernity was a mistake

Even if everyone was poor in the past, they say, at least they had the things that really matter. Closely-knit communities, strong family ties, a bustling local church, organic food, fresh air, plenty of time outside, and happy babies everywhere. I’m seeing many accounts on Twitter and other parts of the internet calling for a RETVRN to this beautiful way of life.

Whenever I hear something like this, I wish I could introduce them to one of my grandmas. She could tell them about the hours spent bending over while doing laundry by hand, scrubbing floors on her knees, or digging potatoes. About how when she had 3 babies one after another in 23 months, she had to give the middle one away to her in-laws because it was just too much for her to handle. About how they only ate meat once a week, one small chicken to share with the whole family that she had to kill and pluck with her own hands. About how drunk most adult men were all the time, and how violent they got when they were drunk. About how her wonderful 6 year old son died of a disease that’s easily curable now, and she had no time for grief taking care of the other 5 children.

My grandmothers adopted new technologies with open arms

Especially the washing machine was a lifesaver. One of my grandmas lived with us when we were kids, and even with all the modern appliances she was busy with cooking, cleaning, and laundry pretty much all the time. How much harder it must have been when she was young and had to do it all by hand!

If it wasn’t for electricity, running water, and the washing machine, my mom and I would never have a chance to go to college, learn about things that interest us, make our own money, or travel around the world. We would have been too busy scrubbing floors, washing diapers and kneading the pierogi dough. I’m really grateful that unlike both of my grandmothers and many generations of women before them I did have a chance to experience all these things.

There were good reasons to leave the lifestyles of the past

Yes, I know modernity has plenty of problems. This whole newsletter came about because I believe that there’s a lot we can learn from our now-forgotten past. But as we do that, we have to keep in mind that these are all good problems to have, and that we only have them because our grandmothers and grandfathers already solved the much more pressing issues of hunger, backbreaking labor, and extreme poverty. We can only think about the climate, trauma, or the meaning crisis, because we’re no longer busy just surviving.

Neither wholly embracing modernity will do it for us, nor wholly rejecting it. We don’t have to choose between skyscrapers and cathedrals, we can build skyscraper cathedrals and make them beautiful. We can combine the divine inspiration of cathedral builders of the past with the latest tech and other magic tools to create new worlds we can’t even yet imagine.

Nothing will let us live happily ever after, but we do have the power to move forward one small step at a time. Every new technology we introduce to solve one problem will bring a whole another set of problems - but this will be our children’s and grandchildren’s job. We can’t let perfection stand in the way of making things better now. If our grandparents did, we would be still all impoverished, overworked, and underfed.

I sometimes wonder how my grandma would have reacted to Midjourney

Would she fall in love with it like I did and spend her whole days creating beautiful worlds? Or would she reject it as a work of satanic black magic?

But then I realize, a fridge or a washing machine must have felt as magical and miraculous to her as AI tools feel to me now. And just like she welcomed electric home appliances with open arms, I am now welcoming new tools that have the power to completely transform the world we live in.

They will cause their own problems too, but that’s our kids’ job to solve.