Yes, You Too Can Invite People Even When You're Unprepared

“I wish we had a large enough home to comfortably host people overnight” - I told my husband after we went to my friend’s birthday party. Her family lives in a spacious, well-designed, and beautifully kept apartment that vastly exceeded all of my household goals. I feel more at home when I visit her than I do in my own home.

An hour later I got a message from my cousin I hadn’t seen in years. The friend that was supposed to host her got sick, and she needed a place to stay for the next day and night. I told her we have a pretty small apartment, an active toddler and a rather crazy dog, but she decided to give it a try anyway.

As it turns out, we do have a large enough home to comfortably host people overnight - at least if it’s one person at a time. A guest bedroom would be nice, but the living room couch is good enough (even if it’s on our way to the kitchen). Some place to unpack all the things would be nice, but there’s no harm keeping them in the bag. I was so happy to see my cousin and chat with her for the whole day, we had so much to tell each other after all these years!

In the past I thought that if I want to invite people over, I’d better prepare and serve them well. How could I host a dinner party if our dining table is so small? How could I invite people with small children if our dog will scare them all away? How could I bring a friend for a coffee if I have no food at home and the whole place is a mess?

Now I’m beginning to realize these limitations were all in my head. For most of the human history people lived in houses much smaller than mine, with much more children than I have, and still they had way more active social life than I do. They just didn’t make a big fuss out of it. Spending time together with other people was the default as they went about their daily chores, not a pastime activity when they had nothing else to do.

If you can only meet your friends when both of you have nothing else to do, meeting them will become a struggle especially when you both have kids. That’s why I decided to invite people specifically so that we can do stuff together. Make handmade Christmas cards, cook pierogi, or crochet a sweater, all the things we wanted to do anyway on our own, but instead of doing it on our own we can enjoy a friendly company instead.

Last week I tried making pierogi with my neighbor and it was amazing. I can’t wait to see what other things I can get done this way with my friends.