Don't Pressure People into Having Kids

“Yeah surely kids sound like a lot of fun, but aren’t they, you know, quite a hassle too?”

“I’d like to have kids one day, just not right now. Come on, I’m definitely too young to sacrifice my whole life for the sake of kids!”

“I’m still a tiny baby myself! How could I possibly take care of another child?”

I heard all these things from people I know in recent years.

***

One of them tried to get off psychiatric drugs so that she could get pregnant and ended up suicidal. She’s been in therapy for many years, but nothing seems to help her so far.

Another one has been chronically ill for as long as she can remember. She looks healthy on the surface, but her doctors aren’t sure if her body would be able to survive through pregnancy and childbirth.

Yet another is after many years of hormonal therapy and 3 failed in-vitro attempts. Every time someone asks her about children, she spends the rest of her day crying.

The real reason can sometimes be too heartbreaking to talk about even with people you fully trust. When someone makes confident statements or snarky remarks about what you should or shouldn’t do, they’re making it even less likely that you’ll want to open up to them.

If you want people to have more kids, lead by example instead. Invite them over so that they can have some fun with your little ones and discover how joyful family life can be. Bring them with you to the zoo, have them build a snowman together with your babies, or feed some ducks in park. Ask them to build the most beautiful LEGO castle for your little princess. Even if it doesn’t convince anyone to have kids, maybe it will at least bring some joy to people who would love to but currently can’t.